Day 188: Onto The Roaring Twenties

I don't actually wear contacts, so it's unlikely you'll catch me in public looking like this.
(Nikon D90, 35mm DX, f/8, 1/160, ISO 100, Flash @ 1/4 Manual through softbox)

It's been about five years since I've really celebrated my birthday in any significant capacity.  So far, this year seems to have followed that trend.  Went out to dinner with my friend Elizabeth, which in itself was rather ad-hoc and unplanned.  She did however, purchase me a pair of shirts as a gift - the green one that I'm wearing in the photo as well as a black t-shirt.  Her rationale for the green polo was that I was "lacking colour" in my wardrobe, to which I would not contest.  All of my shirts and pants to date have been blacks, whites, beiges, shades and tones of blue, greys, and the sporadic dark green.  It does fit well though, and I dig the colour, so kudos to you Elly for that! 

It's been a pretty busy week so far, and it doesn't look like it's going to let up for at least a few days.  This wasn't quite the situation a couple months earlier, where I was basically wasting away my days doing nothing.  In some respects, I think these last ten weeks have seemingly unfolded much like the last ten years of my life.  Of course when I was ten, I didn't think much the same way as I do now, when I am twenty.  Back then, 'liking' girls was still taboo amongst school circles, computer games were my entire life, and 11 PM was considered late.  Now, I find myself waiting for the opportune moment to find 'her', photography, school, and friends are my life, and 4 AM is normal or "still enough time to finish that damned essay I've been holding off for way too long". 

To say that the past decade has been a smooth ride though would be incorrect.  Well, partially.  Right up until 16 was for the most part, smooth.  I was doing well in school (generally) and usually in good spirits, though somewhat anti-social.  17 and most of 18 were definitely the 'turbulent teen years' with lots of headbutting, low grades, and crying oneself to sleep at night; it certainly has been the lowest point in my life so far.  The tail end of 18 and 19 by contrast, was generally more of an 'up' year.  Things were certainly on the rebound.  A fresh start in school, discovery of a passion, and a niece who - by now old enough to do more than just eat and sleep - continues to amaze me every time I see her.  Looking back, with the exception of perhaps the previous year, I have no real desire to go back in time and relive my teens; I'm quite happy to leave that behind.  I'm ready to forget the past and move on forward.  My future career on the other hand, is not as obvious and at present is still a mystery.

If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up ten years ago, I would tell you that I wanted to be a Computer Engineer, and that I'd want to study at either Ryerson University (though it wouldn't be known as Ryerson University until 2002), the University of Toronto, or the University of Waterloo.  How times have changed.  I'd have to say that my parents had a significant influence on my career choice back then.  It was typical for an Asian family I suppose.  Life back then was so much simpler.  Now I find myself staring down two parallel roads where one is bound to end at some point down my career path.  On one hand an almost certainly rock-solid and steady career in the field of IT development and related business solutions, on the other a potentially lucrative but risky career in photography where I myself am the limiting factor.  To say that I haven't thought about changing lanes and concentrating on one in the last few weeks would be a lie, though to say I have made a firm decision would also be a lie.  To be honest I intend on waiting it out for a couple of years, finishing my degree before I decide what to do.  Whether or not I utilize that piece of paper is something I can't determine since it's hard to pinpoint where I will be photographically at that point because that part of my life is advancing so rapidly.  As an example,earlier this week I was asked to shoot a wedding reception for a friend.  I've practically all but said "yes, I'm in", but ask me the same question six months, or a year earlier and I would think nothing of it, immediately dismissing the notion because photography back then was just 'a hobby'.  Speaking of this hobby, ten years ago, digital photography was barely in it's infancy with early models like Nikon's D1 and D100 series and Canon's D30 and 1D cameras just emerging into the marketplace whilst the majority of shooters were still using film.  Now we have full lines of digital cameras both large and small, and film has all but fallen out of favour with the mainstream crowd.  Don't even get me started on pixels and ISOs.

As with my future with photography, my future in general is pretty hard to determine.  The past few nights I've been lying awake wondering where I'll be in ten, or even five years.  Will I be a full-fledged photographer?  Will I have a wife and child(ren)?  Will I be living in Toronto, in a condo or in a house?  Where will digital photography be?  Will I be shooting with kilos of heavy equipment at ISO who-gives-a-damn?  Will the likes of Chase Jarvis, Joe McNally, David Hobby, Zack Arias, Scott Kelby and so-on and so-on still be around in the world (I honestly hope so), lending their expertise to all who will listen?   Where will my family be?  What will my parents do once they retire?  What will Katelyn be like?  Will I have more nieces and nephews?  Will this blog even still exist?!  Those are just a sampling of random thoughts that drift by my head at break-neck speeds during these times of reflection.  The past is equally uncertain in this regard.  Have I done enough in my life?  Is there something I regret doing, or not doing?  I don't like setting long-term goals, because I feel that life often changes so much that by the time the deadline rolls around, the circumstances for which you originally set that goal have changed.  I do, however have a few that I intend to achieve within the next five to ten years.

In no particular order:

1.  Graduate from school.  I intend on getting that damn piece of paper, so that I can earn a little extra freedom in my life, and a few extra dollars in my pocket.

2.  Get my full driver's license.  My parents and brothers are probably going to be *all* over me on this.  I intend on doing it at some point in the future, but not in the immediate time.  There's just too much going on now to have to cram in driving lessons and fender benders.

3.  Advance my photography.  This is probably the riskiest of the mall.  The top two are pretty much certain to happen.  To ignore my photography, which more and more people keep complimenting by the day though, would be a serious mistake.  Maybe in ten years there won't be a full-fledged Winston Chow Photography (or perhaps Winston Chow Media?), but I'd still like to be shooting the seasonal events or odd-job gig.  

4.  Pick up vital life skills.  I've been spoiled for pretty much my entire life.  I don't do my own laundry, my ability to cook is limited to toasting and microwaving things, and I don't understand jack about financing or the bank other than the putting money in and taking it out part.

So there you have it.  Another sprinkling of my life before I turned twenty, and some of the possibilities of how it might turn out in the coming years, with a touch of 'the present' added in.  

The only way now is forward, so onwards we go!  Well, wait... let me put on my glasses first.